Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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