Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
