Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
