Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
