I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
