Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
