Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
