its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
