I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wish you could order shots online.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
