You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
