how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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