Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
