This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
