Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
