thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
