Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
