I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
