On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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