You're completely useless in the revolution.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
why do cheetos always look like penises
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
