2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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