we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
