Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
