I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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