The maid of honor just puked.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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