absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
