i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
