I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
