hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
