GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
