hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
