I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
