Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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