There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
