sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
