While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just found puke in my bra..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
