Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
