Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
