Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You're a waste of cheezeits
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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