Fuck appropriateness.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
