This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
