Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
