Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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