how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Randomize
