what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
