Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
