I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
