We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
