i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
