turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
