Screwed.edu
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
