are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
