and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
