Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
